Stepping
outside to a 49°F (9.4°F) dawn in June, coffee steams up from my "Lucy the
world's largest elephant" cup (it's a Jersey Shore thing) as I watch a guy
trying keep his dog from barking at every critter that runs or flys through the
breaking fog. ... cinnamon swirl toast spread with peanut butter, can a morning
be better?
“Pressure
pushing down on me
Pressing
down on you …”
Each
and every morning since being told my lung cancer staging had rocketed form
Stage 1 to Stage 4 with brain metastasis has been a Stage 4 morning and believe
me there ain’t no morning like a stage 4 morning.
“Turned
away from it all like a blind man
Sat
on a fence but it don't work…”
“
I do
not do yard sales, yet Saturday out of the blue I did. My storage facility was
sponsoring a unit yard sale. Set up a table or sell from unit. It was fun and I
bought for only $2 the tackiest homemade beer stein ever.
Actually
Saturday was a 'double', later pushing Patti up the hill to attend her niece’s college graduation party in 90˚F+ heat.
“Insanity
laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't
we give ourselves one more chance?...”
Monday I deejayed a 7 hr field day for Stone Ridge School in Bethesda, MD
Tuesday I deejayed a party sponsored by Prince George’s County Associaton of Realtors for
Fair Housing Poster Contest winners and their families in Lanham, MD
“Tomorrow
gets me higher, higher, higher...
Pressure
on people - people on streets”
Wedneday I deejayed a Fundraising Reward Party at Pine Grove MS, Baltimore, MD … PLUS this
middle school was recognized as the Baltimore County Public School’s LARGEST
CONTRIBUTOR to the Children’s Cancer Foundation with close to $17,000.00 going
to provide assistance to children with complex medical conditions!
“Cause
love's such an old-fashioned word
And
love dares you to care for
The
people on the edge of the night …”
Shouldn’t
I be fatigued after brain radiation therapy? What’s with the stigmas? Is all
anyone ever knows about Stage 4 a buzzkill?
Yes
I lived 17 months in Stage 1 lung cancer and no one ever asked me if I was
tired. Sooo why the stigmas of Stage 4?
My intention
is not to thump my chest but stigmas are really starting to piss me off. Each
of us diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer brings our entire lives to the 'Battle of Stage 4', there is nothing anyone
can quickly change.
I am
blessed with no other health issues. A quarter century of juggling Multiple
Sclerosis caregiving, parenting and deejaying was and is physical caregiving
and has left me unencumbered by any of the sedentary life style related health
issues of most 60+ males.
Maybe
it’s the touch of radiation but I feel great!
... even a bit surreal as I bemusedly smile at the phrase “life expectancy” in
terms of major home appliances. Thank you Queen and David Bowie for the phrase “insanity
laughs” … you have no idea how empowering buying a refrigerator with a life
expectancy of 11 years will be today.
“And
love dares you to change our way of
Caring
about ourselves”
UNDER PRESSURE by Queen and David Bowie
... fingers snapping, I'm off.
--
Patrick Leer
Patrick Leer
Health Activist:
Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/
My Lung Cancer Odyssey @ http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/
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