Saturday, January 5, 2013

I hear and see dead people

actor Aaron Paul portrays Jesse 
Watching my favorite lung cancertainment, a past episode of “Breaking Bad” on DVD from local library last night Jesse repeatedly dials his dead lover’s phone number just to hear her voice on her phone message until mercifully a robotic phone company voice announces “We're Sorry, The Number You Are Trying To Reach is No Longer in Service.” 

In real life do people do this? Is it morbid or just some high tech denial of the 5th stage of grief, acceptance?

I found it weirding me out especially since last week I had dialed a number on a contract and got the voice of a friend who died two months earlier and her family and/or business had not changed the recording.

Then again I’m kind of creeped out out every time I sign onto Facebook and I see a real life friend who died over Memorial Day weekend who also happened to be a Facebook friend showing as “friends on chat” because his family left his Facebook page active.

My daughter has tried to patiently explain to me that in the 21st Century families often leave Facebook pages up us as testimonials, kind of like cyber tombstones ... or have no idea how to get rid of the stuff.

Maybe it's an age thing and treasuring technology bites is just a variation of the lockets of hair of yore. 

I'm old school and starting to feel rather technology haunted. To paraphrase Mister Rogers, “Hello Boys and Girls! Can you say, ghost in the machine?”

There should be a business to clean up your cyber mess but then again how can you trust them, it would be like Ted Williams head and cryonics all over again.

Considering most people don't even have a will I suspect even less give any thought to cyber undertakers. 

No question a diagnosis of lung cancer empowers me with glimpses of 'one foot in the grave vision' ... but even that is progress as a year ago I did not even know survival was possible with lung cancer.

Survive is the vibe, no question! 

But is it wrong to confess there are some people I am so going to enjoy haunting one day ... just not in the foreseeable future. I plan to keep both my feet out of the grave. 

Patrick Leer
Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @


  1. In the "olden days" we kept photo albums. When someone died, we didn't tear out all of their pictures. Why should cyberspace be any different?

    1. Thank you! Exactly my point and I have treasured pictures of my ancestors but I have to open the album as any visitor would, their faces don't just pop up 'chat enabled' or status: 'on line' when I sign onto Facebook. As you say it's likely just an 'olden day' hang-up on my part.