Tuesday, September 25, 2012

forget you! lung cancer

Since coming out of the closet about my lung cancer diagnosis following surgery in March I find myself sometimes slack jawed in conversation.

I have never had more people tell me that “we all could die in a car accident tomorrow”.

Nor did I realize I knew so many psychic people telling me “don’t worry, you’ll be fine!”

They have no idea how much restraint it takes not to grab throats and shake heads yelling, “I have lung cancer! I worry that is what I do!” … and gee thanks if I was not already worrying about lung cancer now I am freaking out about getting in a car tomorrow!

Deep breaths, they mean well … leave their fate to karma.

Now on the other hand when out and about with my wife, Patti, I may experience the most peculiar phenomena of them all - I do not have lung cancer, at least not in her now.

Dementia like symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis all but erase her memory especially short term. Unless I remind and continue to remind her that I have lung cancer … well, I don’t.

No awkward conversations. No unspoken words. No not talking about the future and such. We just talk as if the past nine months never happened, which at least for her they never did. Focused on the caregiving needs of her physical and cognitive symptoms of MS - it's 'forget you! lung cancer', at least for awhile. 
"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patrick Leer
Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

1 comment:

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