post chemo morning #17

On the 17^th day post chemo I awoke feeling so cold … I needed  my ‘Uncle Buck Hat’

… worst was that after 17 days of avoiding vomiting, constipation or diarrhea that door certainly swung the wrong way … I discovered that my bottle of Ondansetron ODT works as promoted … placing one tablet on tongue instantly aborted nausea.

This is not the fight for my life I expected. … Tuesday the bell rings to start Round 2 of 3.

Patrick Leer

Health Activist:

Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

My Lung Cancer Odyssey @ http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/

blood transfusion ... chemotherapy

On the 16^th dawn of Chemo … I headed off to Holy Spirit Hospital for a blood transfusion …

Blood transfusion? What am I Keith Richards?

Having lost too many friends and co-workers during the 70’ and 80’s die to AIDS … I watched in fascination at the checks and balances of modern transfusions kicked in.

Two (2) bags I’m told should produce some positive result in 24 – 48 hrs  …until then … mo' hot towels

Patrick Leer

Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

My Lung Cancer Odyssey @ http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/

chemotherapy ... fatigue ... pedicures for guys

I awoke to my 15th morning of declining fatigue since chemotherapy began on June 24.

Somewhere somehow I missed the whole fatigue lesson, though more likely I chose to ignore it since I was in and out of lung cancer surgery in 3 mornings, and breezed through brain radiation treatment.

Most mornings Megan is kind enough to take me back for a saline drip or sugar water …

I am more than freaking out that my next round begins in 6 days followed by my third on July 23 … before the big scanxiety to find out if anything happened.

Comfort food has crept back into my tastes and even diet, graham crackers with either peanut butter or nutella. Last night I ate a cream cheese & grape jam sandwich and tonight a Taylor’s pork roll with Gulden’s sandwich.

In fighting for my life I never would have guessed I would need help trimming my own toe nails … tomorrow I begin this mortifying search.

Of course who am I to whine … Patti’s father died this past weekend and well death trumps.

-- 
Patrick Leer

Health Activist:

Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

My Lung Cancer Odyssey @ http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/

post chemo day # 9

Awoke to hic-quakes today 0530, shaking my body and my bed … very Exorcist. With the cool mist vaporizer running full throttle the chemo mist was confusing me.

I have not slept through the night since chemotherapy began 9 days ago, factor in chemo fatigue … and chemotherapy is kicking my ass. I pray it is also kicking cancer’s ass as relentlessly.

It’s also about my own stupidity. Where did I ever get it into my head that by the third day I would be feeling better? I had even briefly agreed to perform on the 4^th day before cancelling out by day 2.

My oncologist assures me I am not unusual … some patients are up and about within the week, others may take another week or two.

After a quarter century of spouse caregiving, ‘dependency’ was never my future view … and it is spinning my world off its axis.

I must assume that cruising through brain radiation therapy addled my brain. Retuning for saline drips and/or sugar water drips has been helpful and restorative if only for a couple hours.

Plus the chemo lounge is a world within a world or a dream within a dream. Our own daughter even remarked how seeing another adult daughter watching over her  Dad made her feel less alone ... it took her 16 years to find another like her, with a Mom in a wheelchair with MS

Skipped today just to see how it might go. Started out OK but as usual without a saline and or sugar water drip it deteriorated. Returning tomorrow, Friday, for a booster for the weekend.

Plus I've developed a garden variety laryngitis which is only frustrating everything. 

Blood work, vital signs, etc. are “excellent”

musings from post chemo dawn week #2

“Up periscope” … 

Tossing and turning through the sleepless fatigued weekend only complicated everything as my father died on Father’ Day weekend, 1997 from Pancreatic Cancer. 

James E Leer with sons Thomas and Patrick , circa mid 1950's

Struggling through the long night as memories intertwined with the present I believe I finally understood his decision after only one chemo treatment to say “no mas” and move on.

Down almost 20 lbs and fatigued beyond describable, I tried a couple attempts to reach my oncologist office. Fortunately Megan stepped in as advocate to arrange for a saline drip as we had witnessed other revive this way.

During and for an hour afterwards I felt actually good but this too faded under the relentless chemo fatigue. Saline and sugar water drips have dominated this week.

On the other hand no pain no nausea … is a godsend. No appetite is a growing concern … nutrition shakes, smoothies, and milk shakes are my new diet.

Intermittent “Hicquakes” may be the most irritating side effect. A hic-quake begins like your garden variety hiccup but quickly multiplies shaking my whole body. Nothing in radiation therapy nor chemotherapy references them, so maybe side effect of Decadron?

Today is first time I had the stamina to even sit at my desk top PC since Friday.

Even better was meeting with oncologist and learning such fatigue is not exceptional and will pass. All my blood work and vitals are A-OK

“down periscope ...”

Patrick Leer

Health Activist:

Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

My Lung Cancer Odyssey @ http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/

musings from post chemo dawn day 5

Does this chemo fatigue ever relent? Each morning since chemo drip has been worst.

Breezing through brain radiation seemed a good omen. Even first 24 to 48 hours of chemo were manageable until Friday when the walls came tumbling down.

On the other hand no pain no nausea … is a godsend. No appetite is a growing concern … nutrition shakes, smoothies, and milk shakes are my new diet. Weight loss approximately 10 lbs 'not good' ... but tomorrow is Monday and options increase when office reopens.

Ankle swelling non-existent today.

Intermittent “Hicquakes” may be the most irritating side effect. A hic-quake begins like your garden variety hiccup but quickly multiplies shaking my whole body. Nothing in radiation therapy nor chemotherapy references them, so maybe side effect of Decadron?

Today is first time I had the stamina to even sit at my desk top PC since Friday. 

Thank God our adult daughter is home. Buying a humidifier and setting it up in room may be the best Father’s Day gift , ever!    

post chemo clock = 118 hrs and ticking ... 

--
Patrick Leer

Health Activist:

Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

My Lung Cancer Odyssey @ http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/

musings from post chemo dawn day 3

Coughing awake at 0459 I check my temperature and discovering it 97.1˚F (36.2˚C), my mind wonders … where are my four calling birds?

Forgive me this is Chemo not Christmas and I’m still reeling from the third day … Fatigue, fatigue, and more fatigue … burnout, debility, exhaustion, weakness, weariness, and even dog-weary.

‘Slo-mow Patrick’ struggled to even get up out of chairs. Forcing liquids becomes almost a conundrum because the more I drink the more I need to pee. Standing and peeing the result of 64 oz Gatorade Blue, it was impossible not to reflect on how more fatiguing this would be for women. 

In a chemo variation of stop and smell the flowers … how often do you see a “Mr. Frosty” ice cream truck fueling?

To be sure I charged into chemo following 10 brain radiation treatments and yes I should be ‘dog weary’ but who fights for their life half-assed?

Between hospitalizations, surgeries and such it seemed medical types were obsessed with swelling around my ankles, which was never a factor … until of course the day of fatigue when my ankles resembled boots and only complicated motion. Oncology nurse suggested light walking and best of all elevate feet.

Sooooo to improve my odds of sleeping I turned to the art of nesting, by sleeping in a lazy boy style chair elevating my feet and bringing back out a Christmas decoration to watch over me.

Weight loss? Yes, no, maybe. I’m at 180 lb (81.6 kg) which IMHO uniquely qualifies me to enjoy my Good Humor Chocolate Éclair Bar with my morning coffee especially as chemo fatigue appears significantly less on this 3rd morning since chemo.

post chemo clock = 60 hrs and ticking ...

Patrick Leer

Health Activist:

Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

My Lung Cancer Odyssey @ http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/